I told you briefly about this in my July journal, but now, I’ll tell you more. Something wonderful and amazing happened to me at the Prudential Panel at the BlogHer15 conference. Before the panel started, I was a nervous wreck, as I always am when I’m about to speak in front of people. But it’s a good kind of nervous wreck, I think. I do not go into a panic attack, nor do I pass out or just bolt. But I’m nervous about sitting or standing there with everyone looking at me. What if I make a mistake? What if I choke on my words? What if I forget all the good points and one liners I made in my head?
So all of a sudden, my body starts generating extra heat and needing to drink water and sit on the toilet – all at the same time. This was the case at the Prudential Panel, but once we started I felt right at home. I’m not just saying that I felt good; I’m saying I literally felt right at home, like I was just having a chat with friends I’ve known for years.
I cannot tell you how many times Igwe and I have discussed registering Verastic as a business. He has pushed me, begged me, cajoled me, yelled at me, rolled his eyes at me, but nothing. I promise to do it and then I chicken out. I come up with an excuse. We both know it’s an excuse but we both pretend not to know.
While I sat at the Prudential Panel with my own microphone and cup of water, I felt empowered. For starters, my fellow panelists and moderator were strong and beautiful women. They were bloggers like me and they were running their businesses in spite of the fears and challenges. I was so encouraged and moved. I spoke very honestly about my fears of registering Verastic. What if I fail? The attendees, most of them had the same fear. After all, we were all at the BlogHer15 conference to learn and get bigger and better.
Although I admitted sincerely how my fears were holding me back from doing what I have been dreaming of doing, I also promised that once I got back to Maryland, I would register my business. And I did! I was trembling the day I did it, but since then I think a switch went off in my head. I feel more responsible. I owe it to every single person – including you reading this right now – who has supported me to succeed. I have a very extensive to-do list and I’m still working out the kinks, but every day I progress a little further and come a little closer to the life I have been dreaming of.
Speaking to the Prudential reps at the conference, they put me at ease. It was refreshing to know that I was not alone in my fears and that everyone is afraid of something. Also, it’s okay to not have everything figured out at first. Waiting to have it all figured out is part of what has delayed me. I can be a little too meticulous – to my own detriment.
Of course, proper and careful preparation is imperative in such an undertaking, but over consideration may just lead to delay and sometimes, total inaction. In fact, I have a Chinese proverb to insert here [and you know I love my proverbs]: He who deliberates fully before taking a step will spend his entire life on one leg. That’s what I have been doing: standing on one leg. Waiting to study and understand and prepare for every possible outcome. But not anymore!
I always ask myself, What if I fail? And this inner voice asks, What if you don’t? My biggest lesson from the Prudential Panel was to just do it. And that, my Sweet Potatoes, is what I am trying to do. Wish me luck. Like I have told you before, pray very hard and fast even, so I can buy everyone a Maserati. Thank you so very much to Prudential for lighting my path, and thank you to all my Sweet Potatoes for providing a path for me to walk on. Hello Bright Future, is that you?
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