I will not boast of having heard it all. After all, it was just the other day that I learned of salad tossing, but that’s a totally different story. So, there I was, having a mini Girls’ Night Out with a bunch of girls, and as usual, the major topic of discussion was men. What else is there to talk about anyway?
His Finger Nails Are Too Short!
Chika, a semi-new friend of ours randomly mentioned Nnamdi, a guy who likes her, but whom, unfortunately, she cannot date. “He’s too short,” she told us. Well, nothing new about that. A lot of women prefer men who are about six feet tall (or at least visibly taller than them). Of course, it takes having a taste of both worlds (tall and short) to realize that there’s something in between — and it has nothing to do with the height.
Chika’s position did not surprise us. My list does, after all, state that I want someone who is “visibly taller than me.” What did stun me however was that Chika’s biggest problem was not the height of Nnamdi’s body, but rather the length of his finger nails. Yes, yes, Nnamdi is short, and yes, she does have a problem with his height, but she is more concerned about the length of his finger nails.
It turns out that a man’s finger nails are directly proportional to the length of his member. Nnamdi’s finger nails aren’t short because he cut them, or because he has stopped them from growing, but rather because he has one of those nails that even when cut short, they are still short – compared to other people’s short nails.
Try as I might, I could not find a picture of short nails. I’m sure it has a name. These doctors and scientists always have a way of making everything sound worse. A boil, for example, is called a furuncle. I prefer to just call it a boil. I feel a lot better that way. But on the issue of Chika and Nnamdi, I will now go ahead and commence Operation-Test-The-Nails/Member-Theory on every man. Starting from today – especially today, I will study every man’s finger nails, and soon and very soon, the truth will be told!
What say you?