Yesterday, Nigerian social media was on fire because TeeBillz, Tiwa Savage’s husband posted some condemning posts on Instagram, alleging a number of things: (1) That Tiwa was a horrible wife, (2) That Tiwa only cared about her singles and her brand (3) That for three years, Tiwa had not asked him if he had eaten, (4) That her mother mounted something – juju – on the roof of their house, and that that was what made her shine, and most damning of them all, (5) That she slept with Tuface, Don Jazzy, and Dr. Sid. And then he tried to commit suicide by jumping off the bridge. He later claimed that his account was hacked, but no one was buying it.
Nigerian Twitter was ablaze. There were so many jokes. Even Igwe got in on the joke when he called me from work to ask me when was the last time I asked him if he had eaten. And not to be outdone, I cooked dinner at night and told him that I was only doing that because I did not want him to commit suicide. I did not partake in the Twitter banter, nor did I blog about it, but I was itching to do so. I chose not to because I don’t usually write about celebrity feuds. I assumed that this was just wahala between husband and wife, and that, they would work it out. But today, the story don climb level.
Tiwa Savage released a video, and if you have not seen it, it’s below. When you’re done watching, let’s discuss at the bottom.
Summary of the video: (1) TeeBillz has been cheating on Tiwa, (2) Tiwa Savage never slept with anyone, (3) She had a miscarriage and TeeBillz never checked up on her because he was busy sleeping with some woman in the hotel (4) Since their son was born, he has not spent one naira on him (5) TeeBillz has no job and no income (6) TeeBillz spends his time keeping up appearances (7) TeeBillz has been borrowing money up-an-dan, spending it on himself, (8) TeeBillz saved the number of his mistress as Edible Catering, and (9) TeeBillz borrowed 45 million naira (that’s about $150,000 at the current exchange rate) and he is yet to pay it back. He did not tell his wife he was borrowing the money, nor does she know what he did with it, and (10) TeeBillz smokes crack/cocaine.
A man cheated on his wife several times, stole his wife’s money, squandered their money, accused his mother in-law of doing diabolical things, fathered a child with another woman, endangered the life of his wife and son, has been verbally abusive to his wife, has accused her of being an adulterer, and has gone on social media to tarnish her name. But please, let’s talk about the last time his wife asked him if he has eaten.
Tiwa Savage’s personal life has been displayed for all to see online without her permission, she has been the breadwinner of her home for years, she has been running from pillar to post to hide her husband’s shame, she has been verbally abused, she has miscarried a child for a man who was busy shining congo with someone else, she has lost money because her husband is a reckless spender, and her name has been dragged through the mud. But please, let’s ask her why she defended herself too quickly? Why did she not wait until it was more convenient for her accuser and abuser? Why did she not do it gently and privately – you know, like the way he did?
Tiwa’s story just goes to show again what a patriarchal society Nigeria is. It’s always a lose-lose situation for women. Damned if you do, and damned if you don’t. Tiwa is blamed for her husband’s decision to be an asshole and blamed for her decision to defend herself and clear her name because she did it at a time that was presumably not convenient for TeeBillz. It’s him, not her, who needs time to heal from the ordeal that he caused. Did TeeBillz ask her if yesterday was a convenient time for him to rubbish the name she has worked so hard to build – the name that puts food on their table?
Quick Lessons For Nigerian Women:
1. A woman should not have to dim her light to make her husband shine. It’s actually possible for them to both shine. It is also possible for a woman to shine without having a husband.
2. Marriage is not by force.
3. Tiwa saw the signs before she married TeeBillz, and by her own admission, people even warned her about him, but she ignored all the signs and warnings.
4. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. Na Maya Angelou talk am. You cannot love or polish a man into being what he’s not. A cheating man will be a cheating man. A stealing man will be a stealing man.
5. Pretending to be happily married when you’re really dying inside is an exercise in futility. It won’t transform the marriage into what you want people to believe it is.
6. No matter how much you love him, you must love yourself first.
7. The wedding is just the party. After the wedding, that’s when the real marriage starts. Tiwa was an absolutely beautiful bride, but how that one take consign price of fish for market?
8. There is no difference between Tiwa Savage and a single mother. Actually, I take it back. Single mothers are better because no one is putting them in debt.
9. Stay away from men that have dubious stories. I.E. Married men, separated men, men in some sort of relationship, men with children from different women, men who have children they don’t take care of, men who are willing to date you while they have someone else, etc. You get the point.
10. Like my OG, Zebudaya said, “A mistake that you are make in marriage are a mistake that you are make forever.”
So for those who are wondering why Tiwa Savage had to respond so soon and/or why she had to respond at all, here are 5 reasons:
(1) The narrative of her life should not be told by someone else, especially by a man who does not care if she lives or dies.
(2) TeeBillz threw the first punch by taking their business online; she was only responding in kind.
(3) She has spent years covering his yansh, paying people off, and carrying a heavy load on her shoulders. She can sleep well now. No one can intimidate her anymore.
(4) Her name/brand is her source of income. If she does not clear her name, her business might die, and who will take care of her when the money goes? TeeBillz?
(5) The average human attention span is 8 seconds. If she does not strike while the iron is hot, she will never be able to reverse his damage. Even now, he has already done some irreparable damage. Some people will always believe him.
Moral of the story: don’t marry an asshole. If you do, don’t feel the need to die there. And if you are the asshole in question, don’t borrow money you cannot pay back and try to escape your debt collectors by committing suicide and dragging your wife down while at it. That’s a punk move.
P.S. I don’t think TeeBillz really wanted to die. If he did, there are many, many ways he could have done so without bringing so much attention on himself and begging for pity while inciting hate against others like TuFace, Don Jazzy, and Dr. Sid.
P.P.S. In his Instagram rant, TeeBillz also compared Tiwa Savage to Omawumi, saying that unlike Tiwa, Omawumi cooks for her husband. Well, maybe that’s because Omawumi’s husband does not sleep around and put his family in jeopardy.
P.P.P.S. I don’t know who the interviewer is, but even by Nigeria’s piss-poor standards of journalism, she did a shitty job. Very unprofessional. Did they force her to do the interview?