First of all, I apologize for the very late update. I was busy debuting my acting career in church. On Sunday, I and 10 other singles – Funmie included – entertained my church with a stage play they will not forget in a hurry. We got a standing ovation from a very enthusiastic and appreciative congregation, and it was praised as “the best play ever in House of Praise!!” Ah, ah! If you can’t tell, I’m still gloating. Chinenye will testify of its total goodness. I’ll be signing autographs as I get ready to add ‘Actress’ to my resume. But I digress.
Did you know that Japan has a low birth rate? At first glance, you may see this as a good thing. Why would Japan want a high birth rate? China, for example, has a high birth rate, and is fighting to reduce it. Japan, on the other hand, has a low birth rate because all the young Japanese are “too school/career-oriented.” Everyone is more concerned about getting the best grades and going to the best schools. What, you thought it was impossible for that to be a problem?
The young Japanese that are supposed to take over from the aging and retiring generation are not ready to get married and/or have children. Men and women see themselves as different species. In desperation, Japan has agreed to pay each family $150 each month, per child until the child reaches high school. A good incentive, but it is as good as Yotaro?
Picture culled of CNN
This is Yotaro. He’s a baby robot. The Japanese are hoping that this baby robot - who cries, sneezes, giggles, kicks, has a warm body, and is made of silicon – would make the young Japanese want to have a baby. Why and how? Well, by the time they spend time with Yotaro, he will – hopefully – trigger human emotions that will prompt people to want the real thing. You can watch the video below.
I have to admit: the Japanese people are brilliant. They have a baby robot who does all the cute things that babies do. They did not make a baby who will wake up every
two 1.5 hours and cry incessantly for no apparent reason. They did not make a baby who will attack your freshly made up face with vomit. They did not make a baby who will pee on you as you struggle to change his diaper. And of course, no need for the baby who scratches your face and only keeps quiet when you carry him and stand up. Somehow, he always knows when you sit down. By the way, baby Yotaro stops crying once you touch him, and we all know how it happens just like that in real life.
So, Yotaro is a good incentive. Some Japanese even say that he’s a better incentive than a monthly government stipend. But is Yotaro as good as my incentive in boosting the birth rate of Japan? Probably not. I say the government should mandate every couple to have sex three times a day without any kind of birth control. All existing forms of birth control should be recalled and thrown into the refinery. In order to ensure that couples don’t cheat by doing the pull out method or not having sex at all, a government agent must stand and watch the action live and direct. I need not tell you that abortions or any action(s) that may lead to an abortion would be highly forbidden! To crown my incentive, once a woman is pregnant, she will taken into custody and put on mandatory bed rest and 24-hour surveillance.
What say you?