Does Iyanya “Look” Like A Player?

This post is kind of coming in late, I’m sorry. So remember how Iyanya broke Yvonne Nelson’s heart by allegedly leaving her for  Tonto? I still don’t know if that really happened (I mean the getting together with Tonto part) because there have been so many sides to the story. The part we know to be [mostly] true is that Iyanya broke Yvonne Nelson’s heart by cheating on her. I say mostly true because we have not heard Iyanya’s side of the story. He probably did it, but …

Yvonne Nelson has granted two interviews – that I know of – to Bella Naija and Toolz, both of which I assume she did before Iyanya’s appearance on Tim Westwood’s song where he sang about losing Yvonne Nelson’s medicine and how he just wanted her waist but she wanted love. The video is at the end of the post.

That said, I read a lot of comments and tweets regarding the Iyanya and Yvonne trouble in paradise, and one thing was common in most of the comments: Iyanya looks like a player. How can you even date him?

Am I the only one who thinks there is no such thing as looking like a player? I don’t believe that a good looking man (even one with piercings, tattoos, six packs, etc) translates to a player. I also don’t believe that a man who is rich and/or famous is a player. I have noticed that we, women, tend to judge a man’s player status based on his looks, money, fame, and power. But I know many, many men who have none of these qualities and are still players to the core, the kind that perplexes you and gives you sleepless nights because you can’t figure out what these women see in him.

So, when it comes to the case of Yvonne Nelson dating Iyanya, I don’t think it’s fair to ask her how she could date such a man because he looks like a player. There were probably other signs that she missed, like if he claimed her as his girlfriend (which she now admits that he didn’t), like how he treated her when they were in the public eye (did he hold her hands, etc), and like the things he said or didn’t say (like his plans for their future, if any). Also to be considered is whatever she did see in him, like the way he made her feel, etc. And if the flexibility of his waist is anything to go by, well, then … *fanning self*

When it comes to dating players cheats, I think a lot of women have experienced this at least once, and in my opinion, it is okay to do so. When you date a cheat, you should learn from him and the relationship, and when you move on to the next one, you should remember the lessons you learned. What’s not okay is to date the same type of men over and over, and then wonder why they keep cheating.

I, for example, once dated a man who got someone pregnant. I didn’t know. But he confessed it himself, then he put his hand on my bible and swore on his mother’s life that he actually did not get anyone pregnant, and that he was only joking when he said he did. If you’re confused by that, then you and I are on the same boat. Ironically, his mother is still alive. God is good.

P.S. If she had dated D’banj, I would have been one of the people who would ask, “How could she date D’banj???” (Hi, Genevieve!) It’s not that I think he’s a player, but I just don’t take him seriously. Personal bias, maybe. I judge him as being conceited, arrogant, and misled. I might be wrong, but I doubt it. Speaking of D’banj, I have a post about him. It’s still in my head, not yet on computer.