In defense of Nigerians, not all of us are dragging her by the brows. I, for one, am certainly not doing so. How can I? She’s a friend in my head. She might even be my BFF. If not my BFF, then a very close second.
That chair!
So anyway, there’s a picture circulating Twitter, taken of Chimamanda from her side, clearly without her knowledge or permission, and it says she’s pregnant. Obviously, since I no follow her carry the belle (and since I’m not a busy body like Funmie), I cannot confirm or deny this pregnancy. [One time, Funmie went and rubbed this poor girl’s belly and told her congratulations, only for the girl to say she was not pregnant. No, she did not look pregnant; Funmie just “heard” she was pregnant and decided to take it upon herself to be first in line to congratulate her. That backfired quickly].
But the thing is, people – men and women – are coming for her. Apparently, she’s a hypocrite for being a feminist AND daring to be married and even pregnant — all at once. They want to know why she got married since she believes in equal opportunities for men and women. And why did she get pregnant? Why did she not get her husband pregnant instead? Why did she not stay single? And to add insult to injury, she refuses to be called Mrs. Esege. She prefers, instead, to be called Ms. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie.
I don’t blame people for not understanding why Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, a married woman, would not want to be referred to as Mrs. Her Husband’s Last Name —- because after all, what kind of high ranking demon would possess a woman to want to answer her own name??? What manner of ingratitude is she showing to her husband? Does she not know that di bu ugwu nwanyi (a husband is a woman’s pride)? Does she not know that she should be saying “Thank Sa!” to her husband every day for deciding to marry her? This sounds like a spiritual problem.
On the issue of getting pregnant, I, once again, side with the people who are dragging her by the brows. Does Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie not know that to believe in a woman’s right to be socially, politically, and economically equal to a man, she must not then reduce herself to an inferior and degrading position such a Wife? And to top it off, she has possibly chosen to do what normal women do – bring a child into the world. What kind of fake feminist is she? Perhaps, she refused to conceive this child naturally. It must have been through some technologically advanced means because do feminists even have sex with men? Are they not all lesbians or something like that?
Dragging Chimamanda by the brows for being pregnant would be so funny if it weren’t so sad. The only thing that is sadder than people dragging her for being pregnant is that most of said people are actually women. There Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie is, fighting for the rights of her fellow women, demanding that women like her should not be paid less just for being women, and that women like her should not be reduced to insignificant political positions because they’re women, but the same women are fighting instead to remain the second class citizens — in a nation that is all too happy to put us down and leave us there. Did we not just have that Twitter movement of what it means to be female in Nigeria? I forgot how great we are at starting a cause and never seeing it through.
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie probably does not read half the things that are written about her on the internet, but if she somehow stumbles upon this blog, I want her to know that I throway the entirety of my yansh for her. I love strong women. I love women who are not afraid to stand in their lane, even if they stand alone. I love women who first find worth and happiness and joy in themselves before seeking it in a partner. I love women who refuse to settle, just so that people will say they have married somebody oh. I love these women because I know that I know that I know that I am one of them.
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie is a best selling author who has won multiple awards and helped Nigeria and Africa get a bigger slice of the literary pie. Have you heard the way Oyibo people call her name? They say it with much ease, without even stuttering. That’s what happens when you are an important person. Yet, some of you have simple names like Bola and they claim they cannot pronounce it. See how easy your name becomes when you start to matter.
Has Chimamanda ever said that women should not marry? Or that women should not have children? The problem with some of you women is that your head is so far up your ass, you can’t see. You can be a powerful woman outside, but when you come home, you’re not the boss anymore. Now you’re wife/mom/daughter/sister/friend/neighbor, etc. This has nothing to do with your marital status and everything to do with the person you are before you put on that cloak you were outside for the world. At home, you can be daddy’s little girl, or the bratty sister, or the spoiled wife, or whatever else. But outside …. BOSS MODE. Do you think Oprah is at home being Steadman’s boss? No, she’s his woman at home. And at home, Chimamanda is her husband’s wife. And her parents’ daughter.
While you’re complaining about Chimamanda being a feminist, she’s busy being loved up by her husband. Why must she be Mrs. Esege? And did her husband contract you to help him complain? What’s wrong with the name she has now? I am not at all opposed to women changing their names, but what is wrong with the woman who decides to keep her own name – whether temporarily or permanently? Some women cannot wait to drop their father’s name, and who can blame them? They have achieved nothing with said name and their fathers don’t have any special prestige built for the name, so go ahead and drop it, it makes no difference anyway.
When you have stayed up all night to live your big dream, and when you have won countless awards and recognition with said name, let’s see how eager you are to drop the name. A name change does not make you more married than the next woman.
If indeed Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie is pregnant, then congratulations to her. It’s a blessing to bring a child into the world – however rotten this world is. As I get older now, I appreciate my mommy more and more for the many countless sacrifices she made for me. If Chimamanda’s child is half as brilliant as she is, then we await generational best sellers. Look at the face of this woman below; it is the face of a demon-possessed woman. Otherwise known as a feminist.
Images in this post were gotten from the April issue of Vogue UK.
![10 Reasons You Shouldn’t Blame The Olori Of Ife For The Demise Of Her Marriage [And The Huge Lesson I’ve Learned From It]](https://verastic.com/site/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/Olori-Of-Ife-Zaynab-Wuraola-Verastic-Display-150x150.png)
Vera you are so on point with this article. I’m hoping to God I achieve some fame before marriage.. husband name Ko husband name ni…
Some girls even rush to change their surname on their wedding day..
Muah… for this morning dose (GMT +1)
Chizzy,
Some women change their names on Facebook the night before. Really, I don’t care much what people do, but I guess I’m just a little attached to my name. I’ll need to go to therapy to change it. Lol.
And what, pray tell, is wrong with that? The problem with this new kind of feminism, is that bashes women who assert themselves, but still CHOOSE to do certain things according to tradition. Being a wife who answers the name of her husband and her children, does not make that woman someone’s property, or some kind of slave. You have your preference. Fine. Congrats. Don’t bash your counterparts and your mothers and aunties because of it.
Well written Vera – couldnt have said any better.
Thank you so much, Calabar Gal. Glad we’re on the same page.
Love you Very, you make sense.
Love you too! Thanks, boo!! 🙂
u nailed it Vera
I VISITED THE THERAPIST AND HERE’S WHAT I FOUND OUT
Thank you, Favourmoyse!
A lot of the people dragging her do not even know the dictionary definition of feminism *sigh*.
Clearly. Otherwise they wouldn’t have the audacity to share such ignorant statements.
Meanwhile, where have you been, Pendo??? And who told you that you had the right to abandon me? Get back here!!!
Nne I have been bsuy ooo! But I am back with a bang! hehehe will try to comment more often I read all your posts trust me:)
Yay!!! But for the record, I cannot think of anything more important than me. What could it possibly be? It doesn’t exist! Lol.
No apologies….I’m a feminist and I wish Chimamanda well
Gbam!! Thank you, Amaka.
I swear I was confused when I saw people asking why she got pregnant as a feminist. I wasn’t aware they were mutually exclusive.
I’m sorry to say it but sometimes a lot of Nigerians say the most stupid nonsense.
Berry, I think anyone with half a brain would not expect feminism and motherhood/marriage to be mutually exclusive. Lol. I couldn’t believe the comments. Wow!!!
Hahahahahaha! Ahahahahahahaha!!
Somebody posted this link on FB and I’m glad I clicked, late as this hour may be… In my own defense, Monday’s work-free for me, yay for pub hols!
Best take on the subject of Ms Adichie’s baby bump.
Darn it… This should have been a standalone comment…
Mz. Socially Awkward: I agree. This should have been a stand alone comment. Lol. But it’s okay. There’s always next time. Yay for public hols for those who have it. For the rest of us ….. *sigh*
Thank you so much for reading this, and thank you to the person and people who shared the link. I’m glad you like it.
waiting for your june diary 🙂
or have i missed it lemme go check.
Chigurl, darling, you haven’t missed it. I literally forgot that June was over. Lol. I’m working on it Noe. It’ll be published next week. Thank you for inquiring. You’re making me blush. Lol.
The way people behave can never cease to amaze me. No wonder people say women are not supportive of each other. When did chimamanda ever say she nor go marry, abi she nor go borne? People are just funny.
http://www.carolesrepublic.blogspot.com
Carole, I completely agree. That is indeed why people say that women are not supportive of each other. It’s crazy. Instead of celebrating our fellow woman on all her great accomplishments, we’d rather tear her down. Sad.
Well articulated write-up.
Thank you, Happy People! ☺
Nice piece of writing. Keep it up gal.
Thank you, Happy People! 🙂
I must’ve missed this foolish controversy, and gladly so if I may add. What in the world! Nigerians, the loudest noisemakers on the planet, hypocritical and clueless (shior).
I join in to congratulate this phenomenal woman of my generation, what an awesome news (if it is true) … doesn’t make her any less iconic. Love you Chimamanda! And kudos Vera! Tell those fools.
iamnotmyscd,
If you missed it, then lucky you. You would have been fuming if you had read some of the ridiculous comments and tweets. It’s exhausting honestly.
Vera, this article is spot on! The ‘extreme feminist agenda’ has turned into an exercise in bullying. People seem to have forgotten that everywoman has a right to make her own life choices without facing undue criticism.
Dami Loves, thank you very much! I am so tired of people treating us like we’re babies who cannot and should not be left to make our own decisions. And when we do make such decisions, it’s imperative to demean us.
This Vera is my kind of person!!!! …say it as it is, anyone who doesn’t like it can “go hug a transformer”….Vera you are brilliant and you have such a great sense of humour also…
You are also a very confident woman, well done to you, there aren’t many confident women around.
In all this I believe a feminist is actually someone who loves being feminine and protects that strongly…
Nanwor,
Awww. Thank you so much!!! And that’s part of the irony of feminism. Or maybe the irony of what people think of feminism. I know that different people have different views on the subject, but why would anyone think that feminism = not getting married and/or not having children??? Anyway, thank you soooooo much for your kind words 😀
So, because she’s a feminist, she’s not allowed to have toe curling sex abi?? All the premature wankers should go and find a solution to their low sperm count.. nansense!!!
Jacqueline,
Nope! Apparently, toe curling sex (and procreation) is only for non feminists.
Vera,I love your articles and I couldn’t continue as I stumbled upon this on FB,I must read.Now the real wahala is that this feminism thing seems to have variants of species,you get me?
There seems to be a group whose understanding of the stuff is not only flawed but deeply flawed such that they see men and anything men as the ultimate evil,and the propagate it.
There are others whose understanding is that women should be treated equally and not seen as second class…….And I must tell you that this misunderstanding isn’t only in Africa;it happens also in the developed world.
Thanks soooooooo much for the enlightenment.
Max, thank you sooooo much for reading this! I appreciate it. And I completely agree with you, people’s interpretation of feminism do vary. For some people, it means fighting Instagram to let women show nipples. *sigh* Whatever the case, I believe that the original OGs wwho started feminism did it to promote equality for women.
I imagine that the Nigerian economy has improved over these few weeks, why else would a conversation around the fact that Chimamanda might be pregnant be a betrayal to this absurd new Nigerian brand of feminism?
I can picture Chimamanda giving a resounding Mschew to these new theorists.
Well done Verastic for making us see the humour in all this. 😀
Oma,
LOL about the Nigerian economy. Valid point. My dear, search me oh cause I don’t understand it either. I don’t know where they got the understanding that being a feminist means not being married and/or daring to be pregnant.
Vera, this has to be one of my favs from the “Vera Collection”. You hit the nail on the head! Chi if you are indeed pregnant, i wish you a healthy preganancy and safe delivery. Osondi owendi.
Woot, woot! Thank you, ChiO. And I love that you called her Chi. Sweet. Yes indeed, osondi owendi.
Nice post! I’m officially a sweet potato!
Praissssseeeeeeeeeee the Living Jesus!!! I need to buy an e-bell that I can ring whenever there is a public declaration from a new “convert” lol. Thank you so much, Bunmi 🙂
I love it… Sharing with everyone I know…
(I personally don’t care much for her because of a run in that left a lasting impression…)
but I’m All for the cause… Love your article
Nikki Love,
Awwww. Sorry about the run in with Chimamanda. *sigh* These things happen sometimes. I don’t know why the thing is panining me as if I’ll get a commssion from a better run in. Lol. Anyway, thanks for reading and sharing. Yay for feminists/feminism
Dear Vera,
Thanks for having the guts to write this piece.
We are so on the same page. I had no idea there was even some controversy regarding Ms. Adichie being pregnant. Sad indeed.
Many people around the world fail to understand what exactly being a feminist means. I could go on and on…..There is need for more enlightenment. Keep writing please…Warm thoughts
Dr. Onyx,
Thank you so much! I’m really glad you enjoyed reading this. I was so distraught to find out that people were attacking her for being femnist and pregnant. If you missed the controversy, you’re better off, believe me. It was nothing to write home about. You would have just had your blood boiling for nothing.
Jolly good show. Couldn’t agree more. She’s not my favorite person, but I love that she is a strong woman and she’s doing more for the benefit of women, especially African women, than harm. Make she continue jare. Nice post
Mr. Sims, I agree. And thank you for reading the post.
Nobody can do a better job than you.
Hi Vera,
I was just thinking, how does a person manage to discard their name? Your birth name(personal identity),your root (surname)..your origination. i understand the union thing but can you make your husband appear like your parent if you are asked?get it!a husband willl never be your parents either you have a good or bad family.chaii..some women are so theatric that they can loose their state of origin..lol Ask them they will first mention their husband’s..and forget who they really are.Simply because you are gonna be married doesn’t mean you loose every valuable thing in your life.It’s not the end of woman ,it’s a continuation.Some dramatic women don’t even know they are owned by humans like them while they are being reduced to chattels or anything lesser than human.
If they see someone protecting their honour and dignity they become so bitter.There goes name calling “”rebellious” daughters of Jezebel” unsubmissive,competitive”.The fact is they are all afraid of rejection.If you are really going to make an honest woman out of yourself preserve your dignity above materialism and other benefits.see your full potential and use it to the fullest.Discover your priviledges and stop exhibiting fear just for once.If any woman wants to loose all her names that should be personal.
There is nothin more natural and real than your own name.I don’t care if your how many times you loose it..just don’t loose your faith to petyywishes.such person as this better not exist.
Thanks vera for sharing with an inquisitive mind..you are one of a kind.Chima isn’t the only one asking why ?
If only the real feminist can create a perfect definition of feminism that will be universal. Feminism means different thing to people.
We cannot compare Adichie’s feminism to the Babe that used her thing from her toto to make bread. Hian!
Vera please make a way where your posts email notifications will come in as a part and not the full post. because after reading the whole post in the email, i still have to click the link to read or drop comments.
Fab Vera Reader, first of all, this your name is everything. Lol. I agree that the woman who baked bread with her vaginal yeast clearly doesn’t have the same feminism as Chimamanda. I do think that the original feminists just wanted to create equality, and I think that any feminist would want the same. These new age feminists are just here to entertain us with their nonsense because I don’t see how bread baked with vaginal yeast is helpful to any woman – not even to the person who baked the bread sef. I’ll look into the post thing. I don’t know if it’s something I have control over, but I’ll try for sure.
I totally agree with you feminism does not say men are nothing it justs say women have a right to be treated better.The funny thing is those bashing her wish to be her and are even punching bags at home apart from their regular responsibilities
Vera!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you just nailed it especially with ‘This sounds like a spiritual problem’. Looks like women issues really are spiritual matter. I am out to the shrine gilrfriend and I will pray for you because I know what is coming your way with this article. Get some sleep.
Congrats to Chim, the woman.
Haha. Thank you, Affi! Congrats to Chim indeed 🙂
She’s not possessed dear
She’s diligent to not waste the God given intelligence and the gift of writing amongst others
She should be emulated.
Kudos Chichi
Gbam!
Chimamanda Adichie is a woman of class. Who has won world fame through her literary work. Has written many books and won many awards. For a woman like her to change name after marriage wouldn’t have made any sense. The world know her with her name why changing it.
Moreover changing the name does not mean she’s submissive to her husband.