In defense of Nigerians, not all of us are dragging her by the brows. I, for one, am certainly not doing so. How can I? She’s a friend in my head. She might even be my BFF. If not my BFF, then a very close second.
So anyway, there’s a picture circulating Twitter, taken of Chimamanda from her side, clearly without her knowledge or permission, and it says she’s pregnant. Obviously, since I no follow her carry the belle (and since I’m not a busy body like Funmie), I cannot confirm or deny this pregnancy. [One time, Funmie went and rubbed this poor girl’s belly and told her congratulations, only for the girl to say she was not pregnant. No, she did not look pregnant; Funmie just “heard” she was pregnant and decided to take it upon herself to be first in line to congratulate her. That backfired quickly].
But the thing is, people – men and women – are coming for her. Apparently, she’s a hypocrite for being a feminist AND daring to be married and even pregnant — all at once. They want to know why she got married since she believes in equal opportunities for men and women. And why did she get pregnant? Why did she not get her husband pregnant instead? Why did she not stay single? And to add insult to injury, she refuses to be called Mrs. Esege. She prefers, instead, to be called Ms. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie.
I don’t blame people for not understanding why Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, a married woman, would not want to be referred to as Mrs. Her Husband’s Last Name —- because after all, what kind of high ranking demon would possess a woman to want to answer her own name??? What manner of ingratitude is she showing to her husband? Does she not know that di bu ugwu nwanyi (a husband is a woman’s pride)? Does she not know that she should be saying “Thank Sa!” to her husband every day for deciding to marry her? This sounds like a spiritual problem.
On the issue of getting pregnant, I, once again, side with the people who are dragging her by the brows. Does Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie not know that to believe in a woman’s right to be socially, politically, and economically equal to a man, she must not then reduce herself to an inferior and degrading position such a Wife? And to top it off, she has possibly chosen to do what normal women do – bring a child into the world. What kind of fake feminist is she? Perhaps, she refused to conceive this child naturally. It must have been through some technologically advanced means because do feminists even have sex with men? Are they not all lesbians or something like that?
Dragging Chimamanda by the brows for being pregnant would be so funny if it weren’t so sad. The only thing that is sadder than people dragging her for being pregnant is that most of said people are actually women. There Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie is, fighting for the rights of her fellow women, demanding that women like her should not be paid less just for being women, and that women like her should not be reduced to insignificant political positions because they’re women, but the same women are fighting instead to remain the second class citizens — in a nation that is all too happy to put us down and leave us there. Did we not just have that Twitter movement of what it means to be female in Nigeria? I forgot how great we are at starting a cause and never seeing it through.
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie probably does not read half the things that are written about her on the internet, but if she somehow stumbles upon this blog, I want her to know that I throway the entirety of my yansh for her. I love strong women. I love women who are not afraid to stand in their lane, even if they stand alone. I love women who first find worth and happiness and joy in themselves before seeking it in a partner. I love women who refuse to settle, just so that people will say they have married somebody oh. I love these women because I know that I know that I know that I am one of them.
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie is a best selling author who has won multiple awards and helped Nigeria and Africa get a bigger slice of the literary pie. Have you heard the way Oyibo people call her name? They say it with much ease, without even stuttering. That’s what happens when you are an important person. Yet, some of you have simple names like Bola and they claim they cannot pronounce it. See how easy your name becomes when you start to matter.
Has Chimamanda ever said that women should not marry? Or that women should not have children? The problem with some of you women is that your head is so far up your ass, you can’t see. You can be a powerful woman outside, but when you come home, you’re not the boss anymore. Now you’re wife/mom/daughter/sister/friend/neighbor, etc. This has nothing to do with your marital status and everything to do with the person you are before you put on that cloak you were outside for the world. At home, you can be daddy’s little girl, or the bratty sister, or the spoiled wife, or whatever else. But outside …. BOSS MODE. Do you think Oprah is at home being Steadman’s boss? No, she’s his woman at home. And at home, Chimamanda is her husband’s wife. And her parents’ daughter.
While you’re complaining about Chimamanda being a feminist, she’s busy being loved up by her husband. Why must she be Mrs. Esege? And did her husband contract you to help him complain? What’s wrong with the name she has now? I am not at all opposed to women changing their names, but what is wrong with the woman who decides to keep her own name – whether temporarily or permanently? Some women cannot wait to drop their father’s name, and who can blame them? They have achieved nothing with said name and their fathers don’t have any special prestige built for the name, so go ahead and drop it, it makes no difference anyway.
When you have stayed up all night to live your big dream, and when you have won countless awards and recognition with said name, let’s see how eager you are to drop the name. A name change does not make you more married than the next woman.
If indeed Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie is pregnant, then congratulations to her. It’s a blessing to bring a child into the world – however rotten this world is. As I get older now, I appreciate my mommy more and more for the many countless sacrifices she made for me. If Chimamanda’s child is half as brilliant as she is, then we await generational best sellers. Look at the face of this woman below; it is the face of a demon-possessed woman. Otherwise known as a feminist.
Images in this post were gotten from the April issue of Vogue UK.