Breaking News…!

This is Verastic reporting LIVE from Blogville. The nominations of Naija Bloggers Awards are out and Vera Ezimora has been nominated in the following categories:

* Bloggers Choice Awards
* Most Creative Blogger
* Dedicated Blogger Award
* Best Everyday Read
* Most Likeable Blogger

The battle line has been drawn. Please drive, run, fly…. or just click over HERE to vote for Vera Ezimora. She must win the categories she has been nominated in. We must eliminate all other nominees. We must disappear them from the face of Blogville. Yeah, I said it. Any rival of Vera Ezimora is an enemy of Blogville – a hostile one for that matter – and should therefore be treated as such. Their blogs must be eliminated ASAP.

– Verastic, reporting LIVE from Blogville, World Wide Web.

I was going to blog about something else today. I was going to give more details about the vacation. But this breaking and rather important news came up, and I could not resist it. I already told you why I qualified for each of these categories; I am tempted to tell you why my rivals don’t qualify, but the list is long, and the time is rather short. Maybe some other time, no? :) Lemme tell you instead what I will do for Blogville once I win all categories.
* If I win the Bloggers Choice Award: This will mean that you wonderful readers are sending me a message. Yes, you are saying to me, “Vera, you’re simply the bomb diggity!” I, in turn, will bomb-diggitify all of you by choosing you all to come and wine and dine with me. Together, we will eat some nice indomie noodles (don’t worry; I know some1 who makes the really good one). Then we’ll go to Cold Stone to eat/drink/lick/suck/chew/consume/digest some ice cream. Don’t worry; I’ll pay for it all. All you have to do is go into Cold Stone, order the ice cream of your choice in the amount you desire and tell them to put it on Vera Ezimora’s tab. It’s okay; they’ll understand. *wink*
* If I win the Most Creative Blogger Award: It means that at last, my creative juices have not only been recognized but also appreciated and rewarded. In light of this, I will show you another creative side of me. Yes, I will sing a song which will be posted right here on Verastic Dot Com. And oh, yes, we will call it my debut [Platinum] single. I will sing my heart out to thank all you tres wonderful peeps of Blogville. Some might say I should stay in school, stick to writing, and never, ever attempt to sing – even privately – but they are tone-deaf. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
* If I win the Dedicated Blogger Award: I will still update every three days like I have been doing, but now, I will do it at a particular time. Yes, Verastic Dot Com will now be updated at 12 midnight…every three days. This way, everyone will have a fair chance at being first. I will be dedicated. I will be committed. I will be faithful. You do know that Vera means ‘Faithful’ don’t ya? I cannot help but be faithful. Some may argue that I have *clears throat* done a few thangs, but let’s not go down memory lane. Blogville, vote 4 me, and I will be dedicated to you.
* If I win the Best Everyday Read Award: I promise to always give you something good to read. Boredom shall never know my site. Everything you read here will be fun. I will become the epitome of fun-ness. Verastic Dot Com promises to never elicit yawns from its readers. Verastic Dot Com will never be the reason for anyone’s drowsiness, sleepiness, or suicidal thoughts. Tufia kwa. You will read and laugh. Then a few hours later, you’ll think about it and laugh some more, all your problems vanishing into thin air oblivion. In the middle of your natural high-ness, you will buy me a few bottles of perfumes (like Bvlgari’s Pour Femme & Ralph Lauren’s Romance) & send them to my P. O. BOX. I will be grateful.
* If I win the Most Likeable Blogger Award: I will continue to be likeable. I will give everyone the privilege of liking me – men, women, children, animals, places, and things. So yes, Afrobabe, you can now confess that secret crush you have been having on me. I promise I won’t judge you. Funmie will no longer have to hide under the canopy of being my friend; she’ll be able to tell the world that she is in fact in love with me. Animals will finally be able to come out of the closet & profess their love 4 me. Children will xplain why keep wanting to follow me home. People’s things will explain how they mysteriously end up in my house; some might say I stole fapped them, but I didn’t fap anything that didn’t wanna be fapped. Places (like that place where the sun always shines) will xplain why I wanna go back!
***** If I win all five nominations: I don’t know what I will do. Maybe you should tell me. But you should ask not what Vera can do for you. Ask what you can do for Vera. And what you can do for her is to VOTE FOR HER RIGHT NOW.
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  1. bumight says

    so obviously, im not voting for you for Most Dedicated Blogger, cos i cant and will not allow everybody the chance of being first. i mean i can kidnap Temite, but the whole of blogville? nah!

  2. Funmie says

    i have been pressing F5 for the past hour.. and u come here to steal my shine?
    how u dey bbumight? was i too harsh on u…
    but jeez get a life.

  3. Funms-the rebirth says

    so 12 midnight? hope its CT…. infact i give u all my votes and im sending all the perfumes to u cuz ur just too muc. wait o, hope u vote for me too sha as best personal blog cuz na tit for tat

  4. Funmie says

    vera, u just find a way of putting my name on ur blog ehn.. oh i luv it too… lol’
    i might as well introduce myself as Funmi, Vera’s friend.

  5. Danny B says

    LOL…. Has this post being up for up to an hour? This must be the most “F5”- ed blog on the internet…But na wah o.. if ONLY you pack 5 out of 17 award, no be katakata you dey cause so… No go do “longer throat” o

  6. Vera Ezimora says

    Bumight: Ol' gal… you dey try oo. Always coming first. I guess I know which category you'll be winning in Category B. LOL @ kidnapping Temite. Leave my Temite alone 4 me oh. Hahahaha

    Funms The Rebirth: Yes, my dear, go & vote. And no, the time is not CT oh! Maybe I shoulda been more specific. It's 12 midnight ET abeg. I dey East Coast. And yes, the votes are tit for tat. I know.

    Funmie: Leave my Bumight alone 4 me oh! It's all love, that's all. You no come f5 the thing enough now. And yes, you might as well introduce yourself as Funmie, Vera's friend. Why not, if not?

    Danny B: LOL! five out of 17 is small ooo! Me, I wanted all the 17, but since na only 17 una nominate me for, I guess I could manage. lol @ the most F5'd blog. Hehehehe

  7. Afrobabe says

    Kai Danny B you just spoke my Kai Kai Danny B you just spoke my mind…which kind greed be this….5 categorys only you????

    Ee no go work
    Ee no go work
    Ee no go work
    Ee no go work
    Ee no go work
    Ee no go work
    Ee no go work

  8. RocNaija says

    Only You…?!

    News Editor..
    Campaign Manager..
    Award Nominee..
    Prospective award winner..

    And we’ll all get to eat, lick and suck together..?!

    Well what’s a little licking and sucking between friends..?

    Ice cream.. of course I meant ice cream..

  9. Olufunke says

    Vera, no mind all of them
    ALl thier plans no go work
    All those that plan to ‘humbly’ take more than two awards, thier plan no go work :-)

    you trust now, even if you no talk, even if you no campaign, even if we no vote.
    you don win…………….

  10. Writefreak says

    Haba Vera…leave some for the remaining people now! Only you 5 categories! Be modest jare! lol

    How you doing?

  11. FineBoy Agbero says

    haaaaaaaaaaaa!!! Dis woman no dey fear abi? U no fear the juju wey I send your way? If u like campaign till tomorrow, na me dem go all vote for finally!
    Ur plans no go work!

  12. wordmerchant says

    hahahahahah…ok, i will vote for you but i want my icecream first.

    lol@FineBoy Agbero..the juju you sent hasn’t reached vera yet..she is on fire.

  13. Just...Toluwa says

    so if i vote for u. wat will thou do for me?

    btw, if u r nice to me, i cld be of help*wink*!

  14. Vera Ezimora says

    Afrobabe: No vex me oo! You can chant that phrase as many times as you wish, I musto win!!! If I no win, say bye bye to Verastic Dot Com

    RocNaija: LOL. You don gbaje finish. So out of this entire post, na the licking and sucking part dey excite you. Nonsense boy. Don't make me give you frog jump punishment ooo. Afrobabe is a mad woman. I will have her committed very soon.

    Olufunke: Bia, I no understand this your message oh. Are you on my side or not? LOL. Biko, go & vote. This is out chance to use our power of democracy. Blogville has a government of the people, by the people, and for the people…or at least, that is what I'll like 2 believe. So make you go vote sharp sharp

    Write Freak: I am being modest. I'm still mad that I only got five sef. I was hoping for 17, but that's fine. Five will have to do for now, I guess.

    FineBoy Agbero: Sebi you wan make I disappear you abi? U wan miss for inside Lagos & Blogville abi? No try me this Wednesday ooO! I know people that know people that can make people disappear. As 4 ur juju, abegi! Once juju cross border, e don deactivate

    Word Merchant: My darling, you can go and get your ice cream any time you're ready. Just tell them to put it on my tab. Don't mind FBA, he doesn't know that He that is in me is greater than that which is in his juju.

    Just Toluwa: Oya, how nice do you want me 2 be??? Name your price. I will do anything you want me to do. ANYTHING. Just name it, and I will do it. Please make sure that all other votes (for other bloggers) mysteriously get lost in transition.

    Ibiluv: Don't mind Afro. Mad woman, I tell ya.

    Beulah: Thanks, darling!!! I hope I win too.

  15. NoLimit says

    …scratching my skull…to vote…or not to vote…to vote…or not to vote…
    kai Vera this one hard o!I have to think about it and e be like say I been leave my brain for house and I dey work…lemme get home first ehn!lol

  16. LusciousRon says

    Vera you are supposed to consult your counsel before you post anything to avoid any libel cases. Mschew.

    Bumight its like you have stolen Temite’s spirit. Abi what do you think?

    How much will you pay me to vote for you? Do well o remember dem INEC cases are still in court. So if you no do well you know what may happen your award if you win will be disqualified!

  17. G-FUNC says

    I actually voted for you in all the categories you showed up cos really I see blogville as a place where VERA and the others live
    the only time I would have had a little bit of a hard time deciding would have been if you had been nominated along side Carlang
    but I don’t think that happened
    here’s to vera winning all the awards for which she has been nominated………

  18. Vera Ezimora says

    No Limit: To vote, of course!!! And stop playing with my emotions. If you don’t vote 4 me, you go wound oh. Ah ah. Wetin sef?

    Luscious Ron: I bin think say I don consult you na! What was the purpose of taking you to the pepper soup joint the other day? Oya, please take care of whatever needs 2 be taken care of. I cannot afford to have my award(s) disqualified.

    Kemberly: Thank you, love. I’ll take that as a compliment – whether you mean it as that or not. lol

    Kafo: Thank you, darling. I think I need to tell the Blogville Awards people to produce a certificate of voting for all the voters as proof of voting. lol

    G-FUNC: Awwww. Thank you soo much!! So Carlang is my major competition ehn? People keep saying we are alike. I know what I need to do; I need to eliminate him. LOL. Thanx for voting for me, G-FUNC!! You’re da best!

  19. Temite says

    hehehehehe. You no say I luff you now! Gosh I am uber late men. Anyways goodluck love on and I know what you should do if you win all 5 categories, you should upload your PICTURE!

  20. ibilola says

    My God! Vera u need to tell me wat u drink cos u’re absolutely certifiable!!!
    Yet we sha luv toi.LOL
    Kai – u’re shameless.LOL
    sha,sha – u’ve got my vote in ALL d categories.

  21. Vera Ezimora says

    Temite: Shhhh!! Stop saying that. Don’t let people read what you have just written and start asking me for a picture oh. That will not be good @ allllll. LOL. But for your sake, I will do as you have asked.

    Ibilola: LOL. Hahaha. That’s all that matters. As long as you have voted for me in all the categories (and you still love me, of course), I don’t mind being certifiable. It’s all for love, abi?

    FFF: Five nominations is not a lot oh. I was banking on all 17 of them. I’ll dash you some – once I win, of course. For now, just go and vote quick quick

    Solomon Sydelle: LOL. I thought God don’t like ugly. But either way, I musto win oh!! God is on my side, so all this one you dey yarn na long story

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