2 Cor 5:17 says, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!”
Lovely readers of Verastically Livin,’ please excuse me while I get a lil serious. Yes, I know you’re not quite used to this. But contrary to popular belief, Vera can be serious oooo…. ehen. This is a scheduled post. At the time it appears on my blog, I’ll be in church, worshipping. What better way to bring in the New Year? Below is my public letter to God. Since everyone is on the internet these days; I figured God must be browsing Verastic.com every now & then, ey? [Yes, I’m still being serious].
2008 was something else. Honestly, I still do not know if I should call this a good or a bad year. Most times, it feels lukewarm. The highlight was the day I rededicated my life back to You. I can honestly say that life has not been the same since then. Unfortunately, since my rededication, I have done some things, said some things, and thought some things – all of which I should not have. But I have sought Your face after every fall. And I have hoped and believed that You have forgiven me.
I am sorry, Lord for everything I ever did to hurt Your feelings – and boy, do I have a long list of that. In retrospect, I realize just how very foolish I was. If I could, I would go back in time and undo so many things. Unsay so many words. And unthink so many thoughts. But I cannot. Honestly, what hurts most is the things that I have done. All those times I thought I was smart and grown, I realize now that I was foolish…and a mere baby before You.
I have been waiting anxiously – almost impatiently – for 2008 to end because the thought of it brings so much pain and sadness to my heart. You know these things, Lord. But I am hopeful that 2009 will be better. Ironically, the blessings and prayers I received in 2008 are the reasons I believe that 2009 will be better.
I am grateful for everything You did for me in 2008. For every time You were there to wipe my tears, console me, keep me company, guard me, guide me, listen to me, and even laugh with me, I am grateful. For every time You made a way for me and turned my mountain into an invisible pebble, I am grateful. I am grateful for the births (especially that of Busola’s baby, Chidi and my cousin in Nigeria whose name I shamefully do not know), and even though I do not understand why I should be, I am also grateful for the deaths too.
I am grateful for my life. I am grateful for my health. I am grateful that You preserved me. I know that not everyone I started the year with is here today, but You oh God, have preserved me. And I have done nothing to deserve this. I am grateful for the life of the man that I am so in love with – my father. You cleansed him of that liver malfunction, God. When I asked him what would happen if it was not taken care of and he answered – like a true doctor – precisely, concisely, and a little too bluntly, “Ultimately, death,” I thought my life was over. But my dad promised he was not going to die; he said he would live for me. I cried to You, and You, oh God restored his life. [Note to Funmi & Busola: Sorry I did not tell you about my dad’s condition. It was just too much to talk about.]
I am grateful for my mom’s life. Sometimes, I think of all she has gone thru on my behalf and I cannot help but break down and cry. I only hope to one day be able to spoil her the way I know she’d love to be spoilt: by giving her a few grand-children and then sending them all on vacation to Russia, so that I and my hubby can have some free time to frolic in the sun and possibly make some new babies. [Yes, I’m still being serious]. She is the best mother a girl could have ever prayed for. I trust You, Lord. I trust You to give me the opportunity to make her smile a smile that her face cannot contain.
So for 2009, oh God, I take all my troubles and I hand them over to You. Everything that has been troubling me, I hand them to You because I am powerless. My worrying can only get me so far; it has gotten me as far as it can, and it has not gotten me anywhere. By the end of 2009, I will be back here to give the testimony. You know the one, Lord. I thank You in advance for the message I will receive today. I thank You for the blessings, for the favors, and for the new beginning. I thank You in advance for helping me to publish my book in 2009. I thank You in advance for everything. I just thank You, Father. In retrospect, 2008 was a good year. But 2009 will be better. It will be great. Say Amen for me.
Happy New Year everyone!!! May 2009 bring you all of your heart’s desires according to God’s will. Amen. I’ll be back on Sunday, January 4th 2009.