I have noticed that a lot of the adult shops I drive by have signs that say they are open 24/7. My favorite pizza shop is literally next to an adult shop. The order is adult shop, pizza shop, mattress shop, and Dunkin’ Donuts. Every single time I go to get my pizza, I ask myself the same question: why would an adult shop need to stay open 24/7?
When I think of shops and businesses that are (or should be) open 24/7, I think about hospitals, gas stations, grocery stores, mechanics, police stations, movie rental places, etc. I can understand why a person would want to visit these places at ungodly hours. But an adult shop? What kind of emergency can one possibly have that an adult shop would fix?
Naturally, I thought long and hard, and I have come to some ideas:
1. The condom broke and you need a new one
2. You lost the keys to the handcuffs
3. The dildo is the wrong size and you’ve already started — so you kinda need to finish.
4. The vibrator doesn’t vibrate nearly as much as you expected
5. The porn movie you were watching ended abruptly and promised for a conclusion in Part II — which you don’t have.
6. Your partner is stuck on the pole you mounted in your bedroom, and you need another pole to bring him/her down.
7. Your new date/partner looks very, very familiar, and you can swear that you saw him/her on the cover of that porn movie at the shop. It’s 3AM and you just have to find out!
That’s all I can think of, folks. Well, that’s all the PG stuff I can think of. Everything else is not suitable for this blog. Plus, advertisers don’t like nasty.
Can you think of any other reason why an adult shop would be open 24/7?