Location: 1000 Eastern Avenue, Baltimore, MD 21202
Date Visited: Sunday, January 22nd 2012
He and I are fond of going to random places, just for the heck of it. And with the birth of GroupOn and Living Social, experimenting has gotten that much easier. So, sometime last week, he bought a five-course meal coupon from GroupOn for Milan Restaurant. Neither of us had ever eaten there. Two years ago, I was there to honor a friend’s birthday dinner invitation, but I was late, so I never ordered anything.
He made a reservation for 7 PM on Sunday, January 22nd. We got there at 7 PM on the dot. We were told to sit at at the bar until our table was ready. We did not get seated till almost 8:30 PM. Our waitress (whose name I cannot remember now) seemed distracted. We ordered three out of our five course meals. She did not ask us about the other two. She also did not ask us what kind of wine we wanted.
Our first course was the salad. When she brought it, she could not remember who ordered what, so she had to ask, “Who had the ceasar?” He hated his. I hated mine too. Then the appetizers came next. Just like the salads, she could not remember who had what; she ended up giving him mine and giving me his. We didn’t like those either. Then she brought two glasses of wine. One for him, and one for me. I don’t know their names, but they were different, and we did not even tell her what kind of wine we wanted.
Then she brought us each some rasberry sorbet. It was part of our five course meal, but she did not ask us what kind we wanted. She just went ahead and brought it. Our main course was almost cold when she brought it, not to mention, the taste was bland. I don’t remember their names, but mine was a ribeye and some mashed potatoes (both cold), and his was fettucini (cold, dry, and tasteless). When he told her he did not want it, she asked why. He said it was cold, so she took it back, heated it, and brought it back. Now it was hot, dry, and still tasteless.
She replaced the wine. She got him the same kind she gave him before, but she changed mine and gave me the kind she gave him. I had to call her back and tell her to change my wine back to what it was before. She did not remember. She asked me what it was. How was I supposed to know? I never ordered it in the first place.
Whenever he and I go to a restaurant, we make it a point to not order the same thing. That way, we get to eat two different foods. But when it was time for dessert, we went for good ol’ cheesecake. Clearly, experimenting was not working out for Milan. The cheesecake was nothing to write home about, but it was the best thing they had offered us so far.
The restaurant tries to appear to have great ambience, but in reality it’s all a fake. The chairs are old and clearly tattered. I don’t know if the food is messed up because of the cooks or because of the servers. Either way, it was all messed up.
While we ate, we counted all the better choices of food we had at home: efo soup, bread, yogurt, granola bars, cream cheese, rice, pounded yam, leftover sausages from breakfast, eggs, cereal, fruits, milk, even water. When you start counting water and leftover breakfast as being better than “restaurant quality” food, then you know it’s a problem.
In the end, she brought us our bill. It was $2.49 because it was just the tax for the food. We had budgeted $20 for tax and tip, but with her very lousy service, we ended up paying … *wait for it….* $3. Yeap! And the only reason he paid $3 is because he did not have 49 cents in change.
I would not recommend this restaurant to anyone — for food and/or service. They have a nightlife, and I do not know anything about that. Maybe their nightlife is worth your time. Don’t be fooled by the beauty of their website. What you see on their website is not what you get when you get there.