The Baltimore Ravens won the SuperBowl on Sunday. Who no know go know. And it was epic! The only other time I had so many heart palpitations was when I ran out of perfume. And since you’re wondering, I’ll answer you. Yes, I wore my Ravens shirt to church. Ehen??
Igwe and I watched the game with 13 of our friends who honored our invitation (yes, we invited people …. AGAIN), and this time, my girl, Uju, was there. We also had three traitors. AKA They were supporting the other theme. The balls! The last four seconds were the longest in my life. EVER. But alas, we won. *singing:* “Winner oh, oh, oh, winner … Winner, oh, oh, oh, oh, winner. Ravens, you don win oh, winner! Kpata, kpata you go win forever … Winner!”
Then on Tuesday, Uju and I bundled up, took the bus at 9:45 and made our way Downtown Baltimore to witness the Ravens parade. This was our first ever parade, so we did not get the memo to be drunk BEFORE getting on the bus. We thought we were geniuses for taking the bus instead of driving, but apparently, we were not the only geniuses. The bus was already full of purple-wearing people. And they were drunk.
We did not know where to get off the bus, so we just got off when the other purple people got off. And we followed them right to the venue. That was where we waited for over an hour before the parade finally started. My toes were hurting from the cold already. I think my veins froze.
Finally, our Ravens showed up, looking all kinds of foooiiinnneee! Ray Lewis, God bless his sexy heart. We did not get to touch him (or any of them), but we did breathe the same air he did. Safe to say, he even remained oxygen for us. And it was mm mm good!
Then the crowd started literally running toward the stadium, all in a bid to see more of the Ravens. Naturally, we joined in. Come and see cardio! Forget Zumba, this was it. Then some cops rode behind them on horses, and those horses shit (shat?) all over the place. Big, fat, brown shit. So as we were running, we were also doing some Jackie Chan Modesto avoid the shit. And this shit was FOWL. I’m positive those horses ate beans porridge and hard boiled eggs.
Then the exciting part was when people were jumping barricades to get to the other side. Yes, yes. Uju and I jumped the barricades too. So, ladies and gentle men, you are now looking at the newest hardcore criminals. Don’t test us. We jump shit.