Yup. That’s my big, bad secret. A lot of you already guessed as much, but what no one guessed was how long I have been married. Sit back and enjoy the long post ahead.
2011: Igwe and I were still dating. He talked about marriage like every other day, and a lot of times, I shut the conversation down because as much as I loved him, I just felt like there was no point talking about it so much since we weren’t planning on doing it yet. Fast forward to November 2011, Igwe just randomly told me one day that we should get married. He told me this over the phone. When we talked more about it (in person), he said it was what he wanted, and that since we were planning on doing it eventually, we might as well do it. I approached it like a business decision: are you sure? Have you thought about it very well? Are you ready? Are you really, really sure? This is a life decision. Everything is going to change. If you fuck up, I will leave you. We told very close friends and family. Then on Friday, December 2nd 2011, we went to court and we got married. It was so laid back that when Igwe was asked if he took me as his lawful wedded wife, he said, “Yes, ke” and we giggled. So silly. And that is why I chose today to tell you our secret: today is our third wedding anniversary.
2012: Our first wedding anniversary was coming up, and all I wanted was for us to just go to Cheesecake Factory. I’m that simple. [Read the post here] But Igwe wanted us to invite our friends, which I thought was weird, but not unusual for Igwe, so I went along with it. At the anniversary dinner, that was when Igwe proposed (after first telling our guests about how we got married], and that was why he said, “Will you marry me again?” I blogged about the proposal HERE and I did mention how Igwe popped the question. Some people noticed and asked in the comment section why Igwe said “Again,” and of course, Pendo was one of the people who asked. This Pendo sef! Is there not anything I can do without you catching me? Warn yourself on this blog ooo!
Ever since our wedding, I have been playing semantics on this blog. For example, I have not referred to Igwe as my fiance, because that would have been a lie. I have also not referred to our proposal as our engagement because that, too, would have been a lie. When people ask me [on this blog] if I am married, I never confirm or deny it. But when I run into readers outside the blog and they ask, I tell the truth. There are many posts that have gone unpublished because it didn’t make sense to tell that story without first putting it into context: marriage. For example, would it have made sense to tell you that people have been pressuring us to have a baby [if I did not come out first and tell you that we’re married]?
So, you must be wondering: why did I keep it a secret, how come I don’t wear a wedding band, and do I still intend to have a white wedding? Because we sort of had an impulsive wedding, we decided to keep it to ourselves and nurture it as our personal little secret, but we never planned on keeping it this long (although a lot of people already know that we are married.). We got married without any real rings, and we never had a real engagement because we went from dating to marriage, so long before he actually officially proposed, I had decided that I did not want to wear two rings. I actually only wanted a simple band, but Igwe said by fire, by force, I must wear a ring with a stone on it. Yes, we still intend to have a white wedding, but not today. We have some very major things that we are working on and on our list of priorities, these things take the top spots. At this point, a wedding for us is just a party. As much as we like partying, we like these other things better.
Anyway, when I decided to do this post, I figured we should take a couple pictures. We weren’t looking for special pictures: just something done tastefully and in good light, so I asked Funmie to take the pictures. Let’s just say that Funmie used us as her guinea pigs for wedding/pre-wedding photography. We kept referring to her as #FunmiePhotos. She had us doing all these cheesy poses, and I couldn’t keep a straight face. I was practically laughing the entire time. The pictures turned out nice though. And don’t be fooled by the smiles on our faces and the sunlight, it was so cold. So, so cold. I’ll have another post with details on what I was wearing. I know you’ve seen the outfit here already, but don’t deny me the chance to do a What I Wore post. Tehehe. Funmie took 118 pictures, and I
managed struggled to pick 13 out of them.
That’s it for my secret post. Thank you so much to everyone of you for supporting me and taking the time to read through this post. Thank you to those who have stood up to defend me when the sin police has left comments here accusing me of living in sin. Even if I was doing that, that would have been between me and my God. A popular blogger whose name I won’t mention asked me over the telephone (while we were having a totally unrelated conversation) why I was living with a man I was not married to. Her tone was judgmental and condescending. I told her that I liked living in sin. She said, okay oh! I ain’t mentioning any names, but she knows herself.
P.S. I am still Vera Ezimora, haven’t changed my last name.
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