My mother-in-law, Yeere, saves everything. When I say everything, I mean EVERYTHING. If you follow me on Instagram, then you might have seen a couple of posts where I was making fun of her for saving silly things.
The other day, I opened the fridge and noticed a plastic container of food. Well, I had been noticing it for a few days, but I was finally curious enough to open it and see what was inside. My people, it was pizza. The thing about pizza in my house is that when we do order it, we always order only one box because it’s more than enough for us. Yeere isn’t big on pizza (she’d rather eat eba and soup), so we never finish the box. We order it from a local pizza shop (I don’t order pizza from any of the big pizza boys), and whatever we don’t eat usually gets thrown away because one-day old pizza just doesn’t taste as great.
Anyway, I opened the container and found several slices of pizza. We have told Yeere several times not to save pizza because no one will eat it, but Yeere has a hard time throwing anything away, so no matter how many times I tell her not to save something, she will still save it.
Some of the things Yeere saves:
1. Empty styrofoam cups like this one from Sam’s Club
2. Empty paper cups that one housed frozen yogurt like this one
3. Remember those Chobani yogurt cups I saved for a blog post? Well, Ada Verastic keeps bringing them out and playing with them, and every time I find one, I throw it away. Yeere wants me to stop throwing them away because she wants to take them to Nigeria. What for? I don’t know, but I’m not saving them.
4. Empty bottles of water
5. Empty gallons of milk
6. Every disposable thing: cups, cutleries, plates, anything. It defeats the purpose of them being disposable if we have to
use waste water and soap to wash them. We might as well use nondisposable items then.
7. The last slice of bread in the bag. As in the bottom of the bread that I’d usually throw away. For me, there are only two options when it comes to the bottom of the bread, and that is to either eat it or throw it away. Why save one slice of bread in the bag?
8. The last piece of meat in the soup/stew: This could be a piece of chicken or goat meat or meatball sef. Yeere will finish the soup/stew and leave that one piece of meat in the big container. You see the container and think there’s something in it, but no, it’s just one lonely piece of meat.
9. Food in general: She likes to save some for “tomorrow.” We went to Texas Roadhouse the other day and she refused to eat her entire meal. She wanted to take it home instead. And she regretted not being a bag to take all the dinner rolls home. Eh, that’s not how this works, I told her.
10. Speaking of saving bags, she won’t throw used zip lock bags away. I understand that sometimes they’re reusable, but why keep little zip lock bags that once had onions in them? The bag stinks and you can’t do anything else with it. She likes to leave the empty bag sitting in the fridge.
She says that America has too much food, so she’d complain that her tummy is hard from too much food and that if you poke her with a needle, it won’t penetrate her skin because of the food inside. A part of me wants to poke her with the needle, just to confirm her theory. I suppose this means that a part of me is a scientist, curious about life and the world we live in. That’s what I’m calling it anyway.
Right now, I’m in the middle of some kind of spring cleaning, so there’s no telling what I’ll find. If I do find something, I’ll share it on the gram because I can’t be the only one seeing what I’m seeing. Meanwhile, I have thrown away both the pizza and the container it was in. I threw the container away as part of spring cleaning. I threw the pizza away as part of sanity.
P.S. My monthly Sweet Potato Mail is back to regularly scheduled programming, so I’ll be sending a new one tomorrow. And I’m really excited about it because I’m trying out a new format. If you are not subscribed, please subscribe below. When you receive it, hit REPLY and tell me what you think of the new format. I love hearing from you.
P.P.S. In case you have no idea what a Sweet Potato Mail is, then let me explain: it’s a love note that I send exclusively to the Sweet Potatoes who are subscribed via email. I only send it once a month, and I get very, very candid in these emails. If I ever send it more than once a month, then it means that something really important is happening (like when I give birth to my confusingly identical twin boys). Or when I give birth to the project I’ve been working on.