Ladies, Do You Squat Or Sit When Peeing In Public Toilets?

Ever since I was a child, my mom has taught me to not sit on public toilets. And my mom’s definition of “public toilet” is any toilet that isn’t ours, no matter whose house it’s in. When I have to use the toilet in my house, most times I don’t look at it to see if it’s clean because it’s just me and Igwe, and I clean it every week — and thankfully, Igwe does not pee on the toilet seat, so that’s not even a conversation that we ever have. Even when I wake up to pee in the middle of the night, I don’t turn the light on; I just make sure that the seat is down.

When I’m not in my house, most times, I don’t sit on the toilet. The only times I do sit on the toilet when I’m not home is when I’m in a familiar place, like Uju’s house. But in other places like work, restaurants, movie theaters, etc, I will NOT sit on the toilet. I always stand-squat (or squat-stand). When I’m done, however, I ALWAYS take some tissue and wipe the toilet seat clean.

And that’s pretty much the point of this post: it’s about the people who pee while standing/squatting and don’t clean up after themselves. What the hell? That’s nasty. I was at a friend’t house the other day and one of her guests went into the bathroom to pee. I went in after her and would you believe that the heifer’s pee was all over the toilet seat?? And do you know who cleaned it? Me.

I wasn’t going to walk away from that bathroom with the seats looking so nasty, lest the house owner thinks it’s me. Nah uh. So there I was, cleaning the toilet in someone else’s house. Here’s the thing that irks me about people like this girl. I don’t remember her name. Let’s call her Linda. In her mind, she thinks she’s too good, too clean, and too cool to sit on someone’s toilet, but no clean person would walk out of the bathroom with pee all over the toilet. Come on now, why do you do that?

After Linda finished messing up the bathroom, she came back to the living room and started discussing fancy restaurants and high end fashion. All I could do was stare at her. She was invested in appearing classy, but behind closed bathroom doors, she was a piglet. No brand of lipstick was enough to change this little piggy.

Even in public places where no one knows me (like restaurants) I always clean up after myself. The fact is that while I may not want to sit on the toilet, there are many people who do. And for those people, I have to show respect and courtesy, so that when they come to the bathroom, they are welcome by a clean toilet and not made to clean someone else’s pee.

This post is somewhat of a rant. Can you tell?

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  1. says

    Vera, I’m suspecting this “Linda” babe…lol. I don’t know a lot about the female restroom but I know one of my pet peeves is seeing pee/stains in the urinal or a stained toilet seat.

    I really don’t understand how somene would pee in a urinal and not flush. It happens a lot at work.

    I heard someone once say he doesn’t like touching the urinal flush handle because of the risk of germs. I’m like so you’d rather torture the rest of us with the site of your stained yellow waste than to grab a freaking paper towel to hold the handle.

    I dey fear to handshake people for work these days sef.

    • says

      Lol. Segun, I didn’t even know that men have the same problem. Funny. Yeah, it’s very unsanitary and not pretty to look at pee stains. Who the heck wants to look at that? Ridiculous.

  2. Ola says

    I can tell it was a rant lol. I HATE it with disgust to see people use the toilet in public places and not wipe it when they know very well that they sprinkled urine on it. Oh don’t remind me of those ladies that leave their blood in the toilet bowel. I don’t know if they intend to drink it later or use it to make Zobo.

    • says

      Loooooooooooooool at zobo. Yes! Yes!! Yes!!! I totally forgot to even mention the period part. As in!!! And what about people that poop and don’t flush it. Like what the hell men???

  3. Pendo says

    I sit in my house and relatives and friends houses that I am close too and even then I will wipe the seat with tissue first before sitting down if I happen to have gone in with my handbag I will use my ever present sanitiser to aid in the wiping. Any other person’s house or restaurant I squat and always wipe any spillage after I am done. I

    • says

      Pendo, it is only right that we do that! It’s so disrespectful to leave pee on the toilet. Like, who are you leaving that for though? I, too, always have a hand sanitizer in my bag. Lol. We gorra kill them germs as much as we can! I think we might be tweensies.

  4. says

    Vera has started again o….lol!
    It’s nice of you to be corteous of other people but sadly not everyone does.
    Can u imagine a Gucci dressed babe using a “public” toilet and can’t even press the flusher down to flush after doing the major….whew!
    It baffles me.

  5. Manny says

    Girl, did I write this? I do exactly what you do. In addition, I always use my feet or wrap toilet paper around my hands before touching the flushing handle.
    But yes, lots of times I find myself cleaning after the previous user lest people think it was you. Reason why I hate using toilets with several stalls. If someone stinks the place up and you are already inside another stall and someone else comes in, they look at you like girllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

    • says

      Hahaha. Manny, at work, when I enter the restroom right after someone has stunk it up, I walk out immediately. I refuse to be caught coming out of that bathroom. If I come out and someone sees me and I say, “That wasn’t me,” then it’ll make me look even more guilty. And if I don’t say anything, I still look guilty. It’s really annoying though that people pee on the seats and don’t clean them. Just so wrong.

  6. Sharon says

    Vera you spoke my mind, people who leave the toilet messy are so annoying. I squat-stand when using public toilets and I do clean up after I never understand why some people don’t do the same. Another annoying habit is when people steal the toilet paper, as in is toilet paper too expensive that you have to steal from public toilets?

    • says

      Haha. Sharon, that’s why some facilities “cage” their toilet tissues so no one can steal them. I always find it funny when toilet tissues are locked up, but I guess they have to do what they have to do.

  7. CeeCee says

    Vera darling,
    Squatting to pee is not a problem na.
    Try Squatting to shit-therein lies the problem!
    This one time i squatted to do a number two when i was stooling (cos i had taken a laxative). And It was a public toilet at Mr. Biggs at Ojuelegba (of all places). It wasnt funny. I made such a mess-shit was literarily everywhere!!! The long queue outside didnt help at all. Shame wan finish me. Choi. Luckily i wasnt asked to clean up my mess-but felt really bad for the person who had to.
    So i generally sit to shit and squat to pee-and clean up if i make a mess.

    • says

      Loooooooooooooooooooooool. Cee Cee, you literally have me laughing and coughing here. Chei!!! Shame for catch me tire too oh. Aaah. I feel so sorry for the person who had to clean it up, too. Lol. I don’t think I’ll ever look at Mr. Biggs without thinking about what you did to them. Hahahaha. Too funny.

    • Tokunbo says

      I always squat to do all numbers. It’s all about aiming right. I worry about splashes though so you can aim for the side and a good flush and extra water from a bucket will get it all out and as clean as you met it

  8. nabyal says

    Question… how do you know she didn’t find the toilet like that? Perhaps she didn’t think she should have to clean up someone else’s mess.

    • Adabeke says

      I was actually thinking the same thing too. But she is still nasty because she should have still wiped it. I would have wiped it CAREFULLY or not used it at all.

    • says

      At first, there were only three of us in the house, and at that time, I went to use the bathroom, and it was clean. Then she later went to use the bathroom, and I went after her again. I only went again because I was about to go home and I habitually like to pee before going on a “journey.” I should have added this bit of information in the post.

  9. Adabeke says

    Lol Vera. I stand squat even at certain known places. To the Linda chick, shame on her. How disgusting. This is the sole reason why I didn’t get a roommate after my undergrad. When my old roommate was on her monthly, you know; ate something bad, you know; comb her hair; you know; brush her teeth; you know. Some women are just disgusting and shouldn’t be because we are suppose to be ladies….or so my mom says. I have a feeling men restrooms are cleaner than women’s. I also use to flush with my feet and one day I though to myself, aren’t you going to wash your hands anyway so what’s the big deal…lol.

    • says

      Hahaha. Adabeke, my friend used to have a roommate like that. You always knew when she was on her period. So nasty. I have gone into men’s restrooms many times. The toilets are cleaner, yes, because men use the urinaries to pee. However, unless it’s a really clean/up scale venue (like a nice hotel), the men’s bathroom usually smells like pee (I guess from all the pee that doesn’t make it into the urinary).

  10. Tokunbo says

    A very near standing squat sef. I hate wetness. I hate to wear wet slippers, I hate to pick my cutlery out of a bowl of water, I just hate wetness. Even taking a bath irritates me sometimes. SO, even if the toilet was clean, i worry it could be wet. I sometimes squat to pee at home too cause I share a toilet with 4 others and my mom just revels in leaving the toilet seat all wet and dripping, it’s the most irritating thing to me. Now, If the inside is too coloured, I wouldnt pee in it without flushing it. My mom even jokes that I flush before and after using the toilet as it should be. It is worse in offices. People POOP and dont flush. Yes the flusher might be germ filled, get a wad of tissue. i use a wad to open toilet doors, open taps and every other thing people touch. Most important, I avoid handshakes, you never know where those hands have been.

    • says

      Hahahaha. Tokunbo, we might need therapy for you oh. I’m a bit of a germaphobe too, but nothing like yours. And this thing about not liking wetness, you know there’s a part of our body that is always wet — and I’m not talking about your mouth/tongue.

  11. Tunde says

    I’m more scared of the dreaded “Neptunes Kiss” in public toilets though… I don’t mind wiping the seats with my hand sanitizer and a paper towel even when I have to do #2. But a kiss?!! Ewww… Don’t even get me started on when your “3rd leg” has to touch the inside of the toilet *dies*

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