Do You Have To Invite Your Guest’s Plus 1?

Remember when I was wondering if I should parry or not? Or more like I had decided not to parry and I was looking for validation from you? Well, one of the things I was thinking about was my guest list. I had already made a list of people I was going to invite, and the list was longer than I wanted it to be, but I wasn’t going to cut anyone off. However, for some of the people on my list, I was not planning on inviting their significant other – not because I did not know them, but because I do not like them. Is this bad?

What I was thinking was:

1.  The space for this get together is small (my apartment) and I already have too many people coming

2.  I don’t like these people.

Number 2 was my primary reason, I won’t lie. For me, I felt like it would be crazy to invite someone to your house that you don’t even like. This is my philosophy a lot of times. It’s so hard for me to pretend to care or pretend to like someone —- unless there’s something in it for me. Example: pretending to like my teacher, or employer, etc.

So I was not going to invite these people to my house AND I was going to include in the invitation that I didn’t want people bringing their guests, unless their guests were also invited. Regardless or who I liked or didn’t like, I really did not want extra people in the house because like I said, it’s a cozy little apartment. We wouldn’t even have had enough chairs for those that we did invite.

Funmie thought it wasn’t very nice to not invite my guest’s plus one, but I felt differently because (1) This isn’t a big event like a wedding; it’s my birthday, and (2) It’s in my house. If my friend, John, is dating Sally, and I don’t like her, I don’t see why I should invite her to my house (and vice versa). I really, really do suck at pretending to care. It’ll be written all over my face, and wouldn’t that be mean?

If you were in my shoes, what would you do?

P.S. The party is canceled anyway. I decided to spend my money on myself. New clothes, shoes, bags … fun stuff.

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Comments

  1. says

    LoL! I totally understand what you mean. No one wants people they don’t like in their homes especially on a birthday! But at the same time I would hate it if someone I knew invited my “significant other” and left me out. So I guess if it was my party, I’ll probably invite only friends that I can stand their partners :)!

  2. says

    Lol, I remember when my cousin first started dating her now-husband… practically everyone hated him. We’re a loud, fun bunch, and he was so quiet, keeping to himself that it came out as plain rude. If I wanted to hang out with everyone, I made it a Girls Only thing so that I wouldn’t have to invite him.

    It’s better that you canceled the party. Your heart just wasn’t set on it.

    • says

      Berry Dakara, lol at making it a girls’ night only. I can so relate! Per your cousin’s quiet husband, Funmie used to have a boyfriend like that. We hated him. The good news is that they’ve broken up. No marriage. Woo hoo! Lol.

  3. Funmie says

    oh… and i’m praying for you Vera…
    you will do exploits. and in 2014, you will get nicer, even if a little…

    and the church says… AMEN

  4. omotee says

    If you don’t like Sally, then don’t invite John. But if John finds out u had a party (am thinking John is a good friend here) and wonders out loud why u didn’t invite him… Oh well.
    As for me, I’d invite John and find a way to tolerate Sally. I imagine some people tolerate me too so I’d like to try.
    As for any of Le Boo’s friend that tries that, Le Boo and the friend just ended their friendship. I’ll see to it. But hey, that’s me.

    And as for Funmi’s prayer. AMEN O!!! I know u can do it dearie *wink* I imagine there are people u try to stick.

    • Pendo says

      Omotee lol you don’t play hahaha poor Le Boo’s friends hahahahahahaha!
      Vera does Sally know that you don’t like her?
      Does John know that you don’t like Sally?
      Is the dislike for Sally mutual as in does she care less about you? In this case I wouldn’t invite her.
      Those are the questions I would ask myself before inviting them both or not or just invite John alone. Most guys who know you don’t like their plus one but are cool with you would probably just do a drive by for a few minutes. And they probably wouldn’t mention the party to their plus one until after they had done the drive by and pass it off like a friend of theirs dragged them to it or it was a last minute invite or something like that.

    • says

      Omotee, if I had gone ahead and had the party, I would have invited John and gone above and beyond to leave Sally out. Perhaps some other time I’ll have the pleasure to do so :D

  5. Sugar says

    Vera,
    One of the traits I admire most in you is your inability or desire not to pretend. I feel safe being around people like you, who either hate me and make it known, or like me and show it. But sometimes a little “diplomacy” is good because the person you hate today, could turn out to be a friend tomorrow. Now with “diplomacy” the person may never know you hated them.

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