Before you start living with a man for any reason at all – marriage, cohabitation, roomies, pregnancy, friendship, whatever, there are a few things you should consider first:
1. Will he finish a bottle of syrup in one week and make you buy a new one?
2. Will he eat your sugar cookies?
3. Will he steal the $31 you made from dancing at a Nigerian party while shaking what your mama gave you?
4. Will he eat half his pasta and finish all the meatballs nonetheless?
5. Will he pout when he’s hungry?
6. Will he use up all the strawberry spread in a couple of uses?
7. Will he always leave his side of the bed and somehow end up sleeping on you – literally?
8. Will he pour half the bottle of ketchup on the fries you’re both supposed to share?
9. Will he always turn the TV on in the bedroom, leave it on ESPN or Fox Sports, turn it up loud, and then go sit in the living room to watch the same channel?
10. Will he always need to be served in a tray because he cannot eat in a plate without half the food ending up on the floor?
11. Will he – during the winter – always complain of cold and set the thermostat to 88 degrees Fahrenheit in the house and make it impossible for you to blink without sweating? There are summer days that are cooler than the house.
12. Will he steal four inches out of your side of the closet?
13. Will he always complain of not finding something, although the something is literally right in front of him? Advil. Bread. Chicken.
14. Will he go into the laundry basket and pull out his favorite shorts, even though you have thrown it in there for a reason: it’s due to be washed?
15. Will he constantly put his gym bag on the bed, even after constant yelling and reprimanding from you?
16. Will he complain of being hungry, refuse everything you offer, and then, also refuse to come up with an alternative?
17. Will he steal your Smirnoff?
18. Will he continuously stare at himself in the mirror?
19. Will he chance you in the bathroom and jump into the shower before you because he knows you still have to brush your teeth, wash your face, and wash your underwear?
20. Will he fall asleep in the middle of every single movie, and then make you pay extra for the additional rental days?
These are very important questions that you should ask. I’m not going to mention who inspired me, but Igwe knows himself! That is all I’m going to say on this issue. For now.
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Keep laughing oh. This is serious stuff. LOL.
LOL!!
LOL. Na so I see am.
The problem is that when you are in love there are many things that you dont see
True.
I’m not sure how to reply this blank comment.
Thanks for the empty comment.
Igwe has suffered o hahahahaha
See this girl o. So after reading everything Igwe does to me, your response is to say that he has suffered? Me, nko?
Chei. Igwe, get a blog and counter-out Vera please.
No, no, no. There’s no need for him to do that. He knows I’m right. Besides, what could he possibly say about me? I’m a joy to be around. LOL.
Lmao! Leave him alone! The syrup and ketchup one got me. I understand your situation especially for numbers 7,13, 18.
And by the way, you stole my dance money too. I don’t blame him for the heat being up because you are always warm when it is freezing smh!
That’s love! Some people don’t have this to share…chemistry!
Bia, Uzo, warn yourself oh. And what normal person won’t be warm – hot sef – when the temperature is 88 degrees? That’s hot nah. LOL at people not having this chemistry to share. Like who exactly?
And how can you say I stole your money? I quite remember it differently. You stole several dollars from me, and now that I think of it, I want it all back!
Hahahaha. Funny LOLO.
Igwe, don’t be telling me I’m funny. Tell me that I’m right. I’m always right anyway.
Verastic’s Igwe replied… eheheheheehe
*very cute post Vera…
this just got old… its time to update ur blog *runs to hide*
This got old? Why are you running away? Come back here and say it nah. Yeye girl.
LOL! Love nwantintiiiiii *_*
LOL. If that is what we’re calling it these days, okay nah.
I just got married, less than a month ago so I can testify big time. No 9, ooh no 9. Men are a different specie.
Awwww. Congratulations, Kassi! And yeah, men are really a different specie. I cannot understand that TV thing. Like why would you turn the TV on and go away to sit in another room and watch the same channel? Who does that??
Chei! Verastica!! You mean to tell me that you and Igwe sleep on the same very bed? And he even lies right on top of this very you? Osanobua!!!
I’m coming back, let me quickly go and pray…
Hahahaha. Xtelle, it’s not what it sounds like. We only sleep on the same bed when we’re doing fasting and prayers overnight. You know now! Lol. How was the prayer you did sha?
Chai Vera! You crack me up o. Are you looking for new members? I can fast well well. The bible says when 2 or 3 are gathered Jesus is there. Please let me join your fasting and prayer sessions! #PrayerWarriorThings Lol
LOL
Loooooool. Yes, please, join the movement. There is no such thing as praying too much. When shall we commence? Cause I just lost a buncha smirnoffs again.
I agree with a lot of things you’ve written…my case is different though cos I live with my bro…and he does almost everything listed on here, yesterday he ate a whole box of cherrios I bought…and didn’t live me any, I was upset…lol…??? …so I guess, they are different…I argue, and tell him that’s not fair, but then he just does it again…oh well goodluck Vera…and nice post
Lol at eating your entire box of Cheerios. Annoying! Thank you for commenting! And good luck with your future cereal.
Awwwwww poor Vera, u need a hug. Rotflmao. Only u, all dese punishments? Ur sins must be great! As for wprship amd swag, i rest my case.
See this Yeye girl oh! So you’re saying that it’s my fault that Igwe has been suffering me? Lol. Okay now!
Lol.. If this isn’t love..then what is it? Igwe only does these things becos he loves u.
Loooool. Really? It’s true love to do all these things to me? Lol. Okay nah!
My dear, its funny but it also tells us that love is more than the butterfly in your belly. You being able to laugh over these things is nice. Then sharing it is educating
Chizzie, thank you very much. Glad you enjoyed the read. I’m blessed to have a portal to share all the randomness in my head. LOL.