Dear Vera & Co,
I really like the idea of your Midnight Bluez series and I wonder why you didn’t start sooner. I’ve been coming back for a second installment since then. I didn’t want to be the next installment because of the similar topics of oral sex, but mine is a different story.
I’m 32 years old and have been married for almost three years. Before I got married, I had dated a few men but was intimate with only one, the one that took my virginity when I was 23. I never gave oral sex to any man, though I received it many times. I just refused to do it. At first, it was because I was irritated. As time went on, it just became more habitual to not give it, than it was conscious choice.
Then I met my husband. Our sex life is great for me. But he’s miserable. He hasn’t said it, but I know. My husband was very “experienced” before we got married. He loves his oral sex, and I won’t lie, he knows how to give it intensely. The problem now is that I cannot go down on my husband without choking and coughing. And by the time I’m done coughing and drinking water, my husband has already lost his erection, and I can see the frustration on his face.
I have done everything I can think of like suck bananas, lick lollipops, force a toothbrush down my throat, and watch porn. Nothing has worked. I have even prayed about it. And I am now about to talk to a sex therapist. I just don’t understand how to suck this big tasteless piece of meat or how my mouth can possibly cover all the length. I know people will find this amusing, but this is a serious dilemma for me, and I need any kind of help that will ease the sexual tension between me and my husband.
Please help! I don’t want these small small asewo girls to give my husband what I cannot give him.
My take: This one is really difficult for me . And I am not saying that to sound like a prude, but because I am really not an expert in the oral sex delivery department. Every thing you already do sounds like you’re taking the right path – except for the toothbrush part; that sounds dangerous. However, I think you may be missing the most important thing: talking to him. Unless I’m being presumptive, you sound like you have not spoken to him (and he has not spoken to you either) about this issue. So I’ll say, talk to him. Ask him exactly what he wants [sexually] and how he wants it. No one and nothing can teach you what he wants better than him, I think.
And since he’s so experienced, he probably knows already exactly what he wants. That said, his experience should not be intimidating to you; after all, he knew about your lack of experience before he married you … right? And even if he did not, well, here you are. You have to remember that he did not become as experienced as he is today without several trials and errors. You both need to communicate to each other to make your sex life explosive.
Verastic readers, please help a sister in need with your advice and suggestions.