My hair is natural; you know that, right? Well, there was one time I wrote about wanting to perm my hair again. Not just perm it, but cut it and perm it. Now I’m over the desire to perm it, but I’m now obsessing and fantasizing about cutting it all off. Cutting my nails off is something I do quite frequently (I just did it the other day), but that’s because my nails are healthy and they grow really fast, really long, and really strong. The same, unfortunately, cannot be said for my hair.
When I was younger, my hair was long and full and healthy. But I have since damaged it over and over, and I have never really given it a chance to breathe. If I had it my way, my ideal hairstyle would be one that was not longer than my shoulder, not at all on my face (although for some reason, I love bangs), easy to maintain, and does not have to be redone frequently. I just do not want to be bothered by hair, which is why I love braids. But braids don’t love me back.
Every time I braid my hair, I lose half my hair when I take it out. And not only the length, but also the volume. And it’s the loss of volume that breaks my heart. In the month I spent in Nigeria, I braided my hair twice. The first time was perfect because it was the ideal length, but I got carried away when I was leaving Nigeria. I braided it again and told the women to make it longer. What was I thinking? I don’t like long hair. It’s a stressor to me when my hair goes past my shoulder.
Now my hair is damaged again. I used to think that it was the tightness of the braids that messed up my hair, but this time, honestly, the braids were not really tight. Sure, the braiders attempted to catch every hair on my scalp, but I loosened those braids very quickly. The longing to cut my hair did not just start now, nor is it based solely on the health of my hair. I have been thinking about it for over two years now. I’m afraid though; what if I cut my hair off and the low cut doesn’t fit my face? It wouldn’t just be low cut; it’d be low cut AND natural. Not a little low cut, but really low cut. On the other hand, my stud earrings will really show.
I can always wear a wig when I feel like having a different style, but I really don’t care for wigs either. I admire low cut hair on other women, but
I’ve always felt that it isn’t for me I’ve always been afraid of doing it for myself. Yet, I keep dreaming about taking a shower and having my scalp so open and free and receptive to the warm water. And when I’m done with my shower, I’d bless my hair with some coconut oil, and that’ll be the end. I think I’m just tired of having hair. I need a break.
Writing the last paragraph made me smile so much. I think I should just do it.
P.S. I also recently gave SERIOUS consideration to locking my hair.